My PSU in my desktop just blew out on me for like the 6th fucking time in the last 2 years, so that's been fun. Have to use my laptop until the new one comes in, so I can't really do any rendering or recording until then. But I got tutorials I gotta make for a website, as well. Gonna be a big ol' fat commission check for that, and that'll be really good. But it adds to the stress levels, especially considering my COMPUTER IS BROKEN AGAIN AND I CAN'T DO THEM RIGHT NOW. It really sucks, I mean I got my computer to be REALLY powerful finally, it renders 1080p like air, barely taking up the rest of the system's resources. It's so sweet. But no, gotta wait to resurrect it from the catacombs...
The game? Game good. Game is good. Got the internet connection thing working, and it DOES connect to computers on a different internet connection completely (like, let's say you lived in New York and you wanted to play your friend who lived in California [I fucking HATE THAT STUPID STATE, FUCK CALIFORNIA {I'm sorry if you live in California and you're offended, I only sort of meant it}]), however the document requires a "policy file" or something? Been looking up tutorials and crap ALLOVER the world (literally, traveling on my winged-camel) but no luck yet. I'll get it sorted out eventually... but in the mean time, once again, I'll have to wait. I hate waiting. I hate it so much. I wait for everything. TIME IS SLIPPING AWAY, THERE'S NO TIME FOR WAITING!! But once that's over with, hopefully it'll get somewhere. REALLY goin' for the greenlight on Steam... hope it makes it. We will see.
Let's see, what else is on the garbage list? Uh... oh yeah, got REALLY sick a few days ago. Like, throwing up for an entire night, followed by the sunrise. Couldn't even sip water, I'd just throw that up as well, lol. I thought I'd have to be hospitalized and hooked up to an IV for a bit, that had to literally be one of the least comfortable things I've ever went through. Couldn't lay down without getting nauseated, didn't sleep, blah blah. I still have a bit of a headache, but that's about all that's left over. That sort of hindered the time I could have utilized to get some of this stuff done. Oh well.
Oh, I've been wanting to make a comic lately. Something I'd just upload pages of here-and-there. Got SORT of a plot figured out, but not really... still up in the clouds, AS USUAL. This keeps happening, I have an idea of something I want to do, and then... no, I can't think of anything to set it in stone. EVERY time. So many little bits and pieces of ideas, and nothing to tie it together. This occurs over the years, over-and-over again; novels, games, animated series, movie ideas... so many tiny little itsy-bitsy fragments of concepts, yet nothing to really bring them to reality... am I the only one with this problem?
You what else sucks about my mind? I get stressed out and antsy when I'm not working on this crap. If I'm not animating, working on the game, a script, editing audio or practicing whatever, I go into madness. Slowly, but surely. I just feel like things are passing me by and everyone's getting ahead while I'm getting stuck behind. I really just wanna do the whole work-hard play-hard thing, you know? But I can't seem to play hard ever. I just don't find entertainment in watching movies or playing video games for hours on end, sorry, assholes. Sorry I called you assholes, but that's directed to all the assholes that complain and bitch to me that I don't play enough video games or watch enough movies or dumb TV shows. Fuck you. t(._.t)
I guess that's it... I dunno, having so many inner conflicts, a lot of stress, problems, stuff scattered allover the place but never seems to go anywhere, I dunno... bleh.
-T4k