I haven't been posting much lately for two reasons, one, there isn't much news you haven't already read to report, and two, I've been busy. I practically have weekly animation commissions now, and though the animation is relatively simple, it still takes up time. Combining that with the fact that I'm working on a big cartoon that I've been on for nearly a year, and that I'm practicing drawing in general, it makes for a very tired Twisted.
These last few weeks have been a little heartbreaking, if you were to ask what's been going on in my little emotions. Keeping it brief, and since none of this has to be publicized to begin with, I've been having a few relationship issues. It's painful craving affection or communication from someone you want to spend time with, however deep your feelings may be, but they simply don't feel the same way, or, at least, aren't willing to share what's going on in their own heads with you. Although not always the case, it can sometimes feel like total rejection. We've all got our own little imps we deal with, but one that keeps coming back for me is this one, I realize. But perhaps it's just karma, I've done the same thing to others for my own reasons, feeling as if they're justified. Maybe there isn't anyone else to blame.
It raises the question why we desire to be with those who don't even care to be with us. At times it feels like arbitrary emotions are hijacking my logical reasoning. All of this stuff really messes with your mind, which affects your body, your spirit, and progress and performance of projects. I try to just turn my brain off and work, just get this stuff done, because it's just what I love to do. I love finally publishing something I'm happy about and being able to share it with those who find it entertaining. Which brings me to another thing...
They say don't focus on numbers, how many people are looking at your stuff, how many people are clicking a like button, etc. All very true, confidence comes from within, and you shouldn't actively be looking for people's approval and praise. That being said, even if you feel something you created (in my instance, artwork) is good, and after publishing it and getting a very underwhelming response, and then comparing it to something you feel is similar which gets a much more positive, impacting reaction, it makes you question yourself. You start to wonder "is this actually good", "am I just attached because I made this", "am I just crazy", and so on. The world and websites are very biased, but when that bias seemingly is against you, it can truly kill your confidence if you're not grounded.
So basically if you got anything out of this post, just stop overthinking. Hope you and your sweetheart have a nice Valentine's Day, and if you don't have anyone right now, be your own sweetheart.